An Ode to the Spelling Chequer
by Janet E. Byford
Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer
That came with our pea sea!
Mecca mistake and it puts you rite
Its so easy to ewes, you sea.
I never used to no, was it e before eye?
(Four sometimes its eye before e.)
But now I’ve discovered the quay to success
It’s as simple as won, too, free!
Sew watt if you lose a letter or two,
The whirled won’t come two an end!
Can’t you sea? It’s as plane as the knows on yore face
S. Chequer’s my very best friend
I’ve always had trubble with letters that double
“Is it one or to S’s?” I’d wine
But now, as I’ve tolled you this chequer is grate
And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.
Candidate for a Pullet Surprise
by Jerry Zar, Dean of the Graduate School, Northwestern Illinois University
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure reel glad two no
Its vary polished in it’s weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pour o’er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Be fore a veiling checkers,
Hour spelling mite decline.
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite.
Of non eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me.
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas,
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.
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