Top Ten Fourth of July Jokes

4th July, American Independence Day celebration background with

As far as holidays go, American Independence Day is just not as funny as Halloween, Christmas or Thanksgiving. I base this bold statement on the number of holiday jokes we get from kids at Halloween is the runaway winner, followed by Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Poor 4th of July barely makes a showing. But as summer approaches, and those cold weather holidays are a distant memory, we have to make due with the jokes we have at hand. So, without further ado, here are the top ten 4th of July jokes sent in by kids (and one grownup) from all over the country.

10) What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic turtle!
From Jessica, age 7, Abilene, TX

9) What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
From Eloise, age 9, Charlottesville, VA

8) Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
From Betty, age 9, CT

7) How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!
From Tom P., age 8, KY

6) What dance was very popular in 1776?
From Rachel, age 8, Long Beach, CA

5) What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
From Marie K., age 12, Dallas, TX

4) Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
Student: “On the bottom!”
From Christy, age 14, Denver, CO

3) Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
From Tom P., age 8, KY

2) What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!
From Scott, age 11, Colorado

1) Do they have a 4th of July in England?
Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th.
From Big Al, a grownup, Frankfort, KY.

Have a funny one you’d like to share? We can’t promise you your name in lights, but you might make into our semiweekly newsletter, or onto the front page of our website.

Clean jokes can be submitted at Jokes By Kids.